Self-Hatred

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We hate the things that diminish our power for existence, and our anger is an attempt to destroy a thing that is diminishing our power. As we journey through life so we adopt ideas that seem to confer power. These ideas are highly conditioned by circumstances. For example, if we learn that mummy takes on a better mood if we flatter her (and kids are always looking for approval) so we will learn that flattery is a route to power. Or maybe we get approval if we get good grades at school, or if we look smart, or if we excel at sports, or if we are helpful. These are learned behaviors that attempt to replace our natural instincts, and they might be unachievable for us in any case. A kid that earns approval for sporting achievement might just not be an athletic type, and so it will always feel that it is falling short – same with all the other ideas that are introjected in the belief they confer power. As we get older so the ideas come in thick and fast – be amusing, be attractive, be productive, be smart. We adopt these ideas because we are told they confer power – and we always want power.

Unfortunately the images and ideas that are set before us are largely unachievable, and what is more many will run counter to our own inclinations. We start to fall short of the expectations we have set ourselves. In other words we see ourselves as the barrier to achieving the power we desire – the result is self-hatred.

Many of the ideas we have ingested will have seeped into our unconscious – a worm that eats away inside the fruit. Meanwhile we put ourselves on the rack trying to be what we (nor anyone else) can be. The solution to self-hatred is simple but difficult. We have to unpick the ideas we have ingested and measure ourselves against. We also have to get to know ourselves as we really are.

Here is the strange twist in all of this. What is really the cause of our lack of power is the ingested ideas – they stop us being what we really are and expressing our power in a natural way. So if we are going to hate anything we need to hate our ingested ideas – they are the cause of our lack of power.

The most pernicious examples of this come from religion and spiritual dogma. We get to be loved by God, achieve salvation, enlightenment, get approval, if we adopt ideas that are wholly foreign to our nature. The ideals that are placed before us just cannot be achieved, and so we drown in self-hatred. The same is true in society at large – ideals of perfectly healthy, slim, attractive, popular, family oriented,  successful people – an ideal that has been invented by marketing people, since that ideal represents survival – but one that cannot be achieved. So self-hatred sets in and with it binge eating, substance abuse, alcoholism, depression, withdrawn behavior – the very opposite of the ideal being set up. The result is a destructive cycle of behavior. It is the marketing images that should be hated along with all the expectations that come with them. We are not entirely innocent in all of this, we buy the images because we believe they confer power. What we do not realize is that we do not need fabricated images of power, we need to accept how we express our own power.

We get to know our true expression of power through the body, which is why we need to be sensitive to bodily states. Unfortunately this is not an instant process. However what is instant is the realization that all the images and ideas that are pushed down our throats by external agents are not for our benefit, but simply to make us suitable candidates for exploitation.

By MB

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The facts of life: Your survival instinct is more powerful than your complaints about life (if not you would be dead). Given that this will continue, the task is to find the most pleasant way of living a life. Complaining is not a pleasant way to live a life.

Anyone who tries to tell you how you should be is simply exercising power over you. They should be dealt with firmly and decisively.

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