About three times the material in The Pessimist Handbook – free download.

You are fucked. Let’s not beat about the bush. You will live a life with small pleasures, not so small pains, and then die. That being the case it seems surprising that trees are not to be found everywhere with ropes hanging from them. Well, despite all the moaning and gloom, it turns out we have a body that wants to live and will do almost anything to ensure it keeps living. The head can whinge as much as it wants, but the body will still insist on food, shelter, warmth, sex and some level of general care. In fact, the head is the slave of the body, in any case, it spends all its days working out the best way to get the things the body needs – and the rest of the time it spends complaining.

Seeing as we tend to avoid pain and gravitate toward pleasure (even if the only pleasure we have is complaining), it would seem to make sense to find ways of dealing with life that encourage pleasure and minimize the pains. The seventy or so aphorisms, with their brief commentaries, should help you do this. If they don’t well – personally I don’t care – you are fucked anyway.



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Spare a thought for the optimists - the poor hyped up little fuckers that invite disappointment through their greedy unrealistic expectations.

Phew - for a minute I’d forgotten that it’s all empty and futile, and I was going to do something with an expectation of fulfillment. Now I’ve remembered I don’t want to do it - yippee. Where’s the donuts?

Based on all the evidence any higher power must be convicted of being malicious. Even indifference could not produce a species that strived with all its being to persist in its existence knowing all the time that the effort could prove futile at any moment.

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