Mastering Emotional Pain


A short book of some 20 pages detailing the nature of emotional pain and some simple methods to deal with it. The preface is below, along with the download.


Emotional pain is a given and as long as we live we will experience it. Anyone who claims to have a way of eliminating emotional pain is a charlatan, and such claims can simply be seen as a way of cashing in on a desire we all have – to not be in pain. So this short book offers just one thing understanding. Compared with more exotic claims understanding seems a little dull, but no one should underestimate the power of understanding, it is the key to mastering emotional pain.

The word “mastering” should not be interpreted as some macho effort, an attempt to impose an iron will that denies our painful emotions. In fact, the approach taken here is quite the opposite of this we master our painful emotions through total acceptance and an understanding of how they come about.

Unfortunately it is a fact that most people are hopelessly out of touch with their emotional states having introjected dictates from external authorities on how they should feel. We should be cheerful, enthusiastic, passionate, optimistic, loving, kind. Any attempt to override our real emotional states with these fabricated states will result in just one thing – neurosis, mental breakdown, and in extreme cases insanity. Our emotions represent our authentic response to the environment, why would we possibly want to try and override these responses? Anger, depression, hatred, envy, fear, sadness, grief, and a hundred other emotional states serve a real purpose – they tell us something is amiss. This doesn’t mean we can fix the world to eliminate the emotion. We are very small and the world is very big, and so it is inevitable that circumstances will often work against us. These adverse circumstances – the death of a loved one, end of a relationship, poverty, poor health, will of necessity create painful emotions. How we deal with an emotion is the way we master it.

This guide really isn’t for people who want a quick fix or are looking for some easy way to shrug off the realities of life. The understanding presented here is an outline of our situation and a few techniques are given to help with mastering emotional pain. So the work is yours, no one else cares about your emotional pain, and no one else can help you master it.



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If you still think that there is some experience that can transform your life from its miserable state of affairs into some bright new shiny thing; I’ve got some news for you.

For God's sake don't join all the unhappy people and pretend that you are happy, Savor your unhappiness, your misery, your pain. Be honest with yourself - life has no mechanism for happiness.

Here is a shortcut. You've just read a book, watched a YouTube video and you've become fired up by the latest trick you've learned - meditation, gratitude, nihilism, optimism. Kill it now and save yourself the trouble in a week, a month, or whatever.

The rational mind can never satisfy and tends to bring dissatisfaction because it limits actions to its own scheme.

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